Today’s dating world has become more like a western showdown of who draws first. The first person that decides to make a move, is placed in a vulnerable position and can’t remain there too long or else they’ll start to feel powerless. Take for instance the classic initiation process : If a guy approaches you at a bar asking for your facebook/ number and you accept his request, this signals to the guy that you are interested. Right? Wrong. Turns out for some guys, this won’t be enough of a sign to initiate a conversation via facebook/texting. Rather he’ll commit any of the following gestures and believe in his mind that this is the “proper etiquette” when in reality it’s the very opposite.
1. Adds you on Facebook only to politely wait for you to message him
This is probably the most cowardly gesture a guy can do. His unassertive nature shouldn’t be justified by him being “shy” or waiting on you to message him first. If he managed to get through the toughest process of approaching you and asking for your personal info then there’s no reason as to why he should wait on you to message him. How much more of a confirmation does he need that you like him? You just accepted his friend request, which means now it’s time for him to grow a pair and initiate a conversation instead of relying on you to message him.
2. Pays you an overload of compliments
So now that he waited for you to message him and say hi, he decides to go all out and reveal his fondness for you. He uses the Antonio Banderas card and compliments you in a flirtatious manner calling you “Bella” “Bonita” or any other term derived from the Latin language of love. Add emoticons into the mix and you’ve got yourself a full-fledged wanna be modern day Shakespeare. This is his suave move, except he’s forgetting to realize that beneath all that Latin language of love, is some real talk that’s supposed to exist. Sure, a compliment every now and then is nice, but over doing it, makes you wonder if he’s truly being genuine or not and makes him come across as a lovesick puppy.
3. Lurking away and liking just about everything you post
If the excessive compliments didn’t give you the idea, he’ll choose the other alternative of going through your facebook posts, liking as many pictures as possible, and commenting on some. This would be flattering if you had already been on a couple of dates, got to know each other to the point of being comfortable and self assured enough in knowing that switching your stalker mode on and being her number one fanboy won’t wreak havoc on your chances with her. Guys, quit being creepers, and take it easy on the lurking.
4.Spontaneously asking you out to grab a beer on the first date
Don’t get me wrong, most of us love spontaneity and beer yet, there’s a difference between being spontaneous and just being inconsiderate. Think about it : asking her out for some beer after your class is done at 9 pm, isn’t going to dub you as the “spontaneous fun loving dude”. Instead, it’ll make you come across as being inconsiderate. If you haven’t even taken the time to set up a date that works on both ends, and expect her to drop whatever she’s doing to get ready and go grab a beer with you at the last minute then you got another thing coming. Sure, it would work out if you knew beforehand that she was within the area, but let’s face it, on the first date you plan something . Chances are if you don’t, she’ll choose binge watching on episodes of Orange is the New Black on Netflix over having to get ready and see you.
5. Uses the “I talk better in person” one liner as an excuse to see you in person asap
We get it, guys aren’t big on communicating via texting or on Facebook, they’re apparently more genetically disposed to loathe these forms of communication and prefer face to face contact. Yet, in this digital age, you can’t help but accept the fact that a good portion of our time spent communicating with others is through these digital mediums. Even though the face to face communication has its benefits (easier to read their body language) texting or chatting away on facebook allows us to get a feel of what the person is about before setting up a date with them. Through their chosen words and for the amount of time it takes them to conjure up what to say, we already get a glimpse of whether they’re just merely talkers who like to sugarcoat everything or are the real deal aka down to earth individuals who have the attention span to hold an online conversation without feeling overwhelmed. No need to be eager beavers about setting up a date just yet, in this case slow and steady wins the race.
6.The unprepared Barbara Walters interview
On the opposite end of the spectrum is when you come across a guy who inhabits the interviewer role and asks you a series of questions to “appear” considerate when in reality it’s only a means to reach his objective of asking you out. It’s easy to discern his interviewer tendencies as being contrived just by his act of jumping from one unrelated question to the next. This results in a half hearted attempt of taking on the Barbara Walter’s role without the banter and light hearted nature that goes along with it .